Shooting Stars
January 6, 2010
Moments. I think about life in terms of moments. In a particularly special one, I try to take in everything that goes with it. The colors, the people, whatever it is that will make that memory strong enough to echo in my senses years from that moment.
Tonight, I was out for a walk. I happened to pass a sub shop that had a pulled pork special sandwich. special pork? after ordering, I took a moment to watch the college game that was on the flatscreen next to the exotic soda display.
GT and Iowa were playing in the Orange Bowl. In the closeups, I could see the eyes of the players eyeing the field. And the thought struck me, for some of them, this would be the greatest night of their lives. Whatever else should happen, this was the pinnacle for some.
What would that be like, to look out a clock winding down on the greatest night of your life? Winning or losing you had sixty minutes to make your mark on history. 59…58…
When I walked out pondering that very thought, I saw a shooting star dropping down and then fading out.
This is what it is for our characters. They live entire lives with no cameras on before this moment. But then something happens. They’re set up for what is going to be the greatest moment in their lives. In any movie, doesn’t matter which, pick one. The camera starts shooting a little before this life changing moment, then turns off after the resolution. Then we never see them again. They fade in to the night sky.
How could we possibly deal with it if the moment has faded? The band RUSH tackled this one in the song “Losing It.”
The writer stares with glassy eyes
Defies the empty page
His beard is white, his face is lined
And streaked with tears of rage
Thirty years ago, how the words would flow
With passion and precision
But now his mind is dark and dulled
By sickness and indecision
And he stares out the kitchen door
Where the sun will rise no more…
What if that moment has passed you by and all you remembered of it was the time slipping away before it was done?
I’ve had moments that felt timeless. I did tonight. It was a hell of a sandwich.
Until later -
Burning Pictures.
Beautiful, sweetie.
That is beautiful and spot-on. You are genius.
Once upon a time I was on a tv series shooting in Toronto and brought to NYC to do publicity. After 5 years in LA all the good times bad times effectively pushed into the denial-closet of my mind. The PR hour done and loose on the dark and foggy streets of my past and 3k miles from the touchstones of my inner truth; lovely wife and first born son. The illness of my remembered NYC choked out all sense and reason. Plummeting into a full on Zuzu’s Petals “what if” moment. I ran seeking confirmation all that I live for wasn’t just some great dream I woke into a nightmare from. Gone was every tangible clue. Then, “Wait, we’d written our names in cement” a decade before. I raced to the corner for sanity as much as memory. 3/4 of them were covered by aging slurry but enough remained to cut through the knot of anxiety. “The motions of Grace, the hardness of the heart; external circumstances…” I realized that night, my greatest hour hadn’t happened and vanished. It was happening, stretching into the horizon before me, ever since meeting my wife and having our children. Every giggle, tear, set back and triumph of their lives gives meaning to my existence, provides solace for my shortcomings, and lengthens my heart’s reach into the future. My greatest moment began with an epiphany and extends towards my final breath on this earth.